I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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