I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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