i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
