There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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