shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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