lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
