the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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