u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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