I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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