xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
