oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
