all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
