AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
