It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
