So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
