I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think i got beer on your cat.
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