I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
