i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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