yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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