quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
