I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
