Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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