Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
