What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
