her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
