Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
