I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
