problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
