Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
