and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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