Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
