Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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