told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
