is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
