worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
