I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think people are normalizing furries
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
