Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
