I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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