Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
