why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
