you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
