Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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