So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
