Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
