His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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