My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
