I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think my mom watched the whole time
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
