My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
