Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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