I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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