And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
