Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
