You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Text me some of your sweat
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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