For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
