Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
