Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
